Fernando Frazão/Agência Brasil, CC BY 3.0 BR https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/br/deed.en, via Wikimedia Commons
On Sunday July 24th I texted my boss and informed her that because my dad’s declining health needed my attention and because I did not believe I could make significant improvements in my work, that I would be resigning immediately without giving two weeks notice.
I told my step-mother and father that I had been let go immediately by my employer once I gave my two weeks notice.
Both of the stories I told my boss on the one hand and my step-mother and father on the other were lies. My father’s health–in spite of suffering a severe form of Valley Fever and then a minor stroke earlier this year–is actually fairly decent. My father and step-mother ordered me to give two weeks notice to my boss before I assumed a job at an Amazon.com warehouse–that, of course, is what any decent, professional worker would do; however I quit without the two weeks notice because my mental health simply could not endure any more torture. My step-mother also would not accept an immediate resignation because she would want me to get two weeks pay. She has oversight over my finances–not because of any legal order but because she is a control freak, especially with regard to money and I’ve never been in a position to resist her demands. I actually had more than enough money to meet my expenses while going a few weeks without pay so I resigned effective immediately while telling a lie to my father and step-mother.
The week prior to my resignation was particularly dreadful. I made awful errors in handling a number of calls and e-mails. On the Friday before my resignation, my boss had a one on one with me where she offered harsh criticisms and said that while I could handle calls where the callers’ problems were relatively straight forward, I’d proved incapable thus far of handling calls that demanded extensive problem solving skills. Without being able to handle the latter type calls, she said “you’re not going to make it.” She said she had listened to a number of calls I’d took; she seemed substantially horrified by my performances. She looked sad and forlorn as she referenced these calls, declaring that she was at her wits end about what to do with me. She proposed weekly meetings over the subsequent month between myself and her where we would listen together to recordings of several calls I took. In as much as her imperious disposition toward me over the previous week had triggered me, this was a prospect for which I did not look forward.
When I texted my boss on Sunday evening (July 24th), she gave a perfunctory plea for me not to quit and suggested I might improve with practice. I reiterated my desire; she accepted my resignation and requested that my resignation letter include nothing about my struggles with the job and only mention the excuse of my dad’s supposed declining health. The company’s HR scrutinizes resignation e-mails and apparently it would reflect badly on her ( as the one who hired me) if I stated that I resigned because of struggles with the tasks.
I think it’s possible that my step-mother has an inkling that I made up the story about the company immediately letting me go. A couple weeks ago she inquired about whether I would receive a payout on my vacation time for the company. I hesitated and my dad then said “Oh yes they’re probably going to send a check.” I didn’t say anything more and I hope she will not bring it up again. I had about twelve hours worth of vacation but will not receive a check for it because I did not give two weeks notice in my resignation.
I lasted about 13 weeks at this job. One my greatest struggles was an inability to say no to callers, especially company vendors with past due invoices. For the latter I was supposed to give virtually no information at all, apart from a promise to submit a ticket to our research team to inquire into the invoice’s payment status. In the case of one or two calls I received, invoices were hopelessly bogged down in bureaucratic approval processes–in spite of the company research team attempting to speed the approval processes. The callers were frustrated and I couldn’t help but give them some inside information to try to placate them. In other cases I wrote a research ticket for callers when by departmental policy I should have simply told them to call back later.
As an Autistic person, I have unique emotional needs and views about my own place in the world that are simply disregarded or are incomprehensible to neurotypicals like my father and step-mother. My step-mother desperately wants me to earn enough money to be self-supporting and her doubts about that possibility inspire her periodic musings about me being supported by the state after my father dies. She says I’ve been doing way too much job-hopping in recent years and now that I’ve started a job at Amazon–today was my first day–I must stick with it until they fire me. I also may receive a job offer soon to work at a warehouse where working conditions are supposedly better than at Amazon–she urged me to apply for this other job and I interviewed for it this past weekend.
At the very least, I will probably have to work a few more weeks at the Amazon warehouse. I was last employed by Amazon in 2017 and was terminated after seven weeks because I could not reach an average order picking rate of 1 pick per 8.2 seconds within the learning curve. By the time I was fired I had reached a 10 to 11 second range per pick but that was not good enough.
My day at Amazon begins at 1:20 in the morning and ends at 11:50 AM. My first day was filled with the usual fears and terrors related to the fact that I’m a slow learner. After I got home, my step-mother sensed on the phone that I had had a bad day and she referenced, in an I-told-you-so manner, my previous job setting up and taking down tables and chairs at the headquarters of a major corporation. She wanted to know if this latter job looked good in comparison to my current Amazon gig. Not having any ability to argue with her, I said that I still hadn’t experienced the full gamut of work I will do at Amazon. In truth, I find both the conference room set-up job and the current Amazon gig to be equally shitty: both putting severe strain on my communication skills, executive function and motor skills. She was trying to jeer me for frequently expressing extreme dissatisfaction with my jobs. In truth, at this point I’m not sure I can succeed in any workplace whatsoever. I’ve thought that a part-time job overseen by a vendor under contract with my state government’s vocational rehabilitation division might work for me but my step-mother has derailed that in the past with demands that I seek only full time work.